I remember when I was a kid and someone said they were turning forty, I was dumbfounded and couldn't even comprehend living to be that age. My young mind couldn't even wrap around the concept of living for forty years. I really thought forty year old's had one foot in the grave, napping all the time in their rocking chair with their blanket covering them to keep the chill away, a grumpy attitude towards everything young and awake, creaky bones, swelling ankles, busy planning their funeral, and waiting for old man reaper to come collect their ticket, or something else like that.
Here's the odd thing, I don't feel like what I thought a forty year old should feel (not on most days). In my head I'm still a rock solid twenty-eight year old (until I look in the mirror and notice a few more wrinkles and other things going south that use to go north)! Take the mirror away and I'm a twenty-eight year old, with her heels kickin up, screamin let's go, do it again, jumping in feet first without looking type of attitude.
Yeah, it sounds like I'm in need of changing my views on what age I'd consider old. I'm thinking 90 is a good old ripe age, it's a hell of a long time to live too (sorry Grandpa, but that really is a looong time).
A typical post of this type would now turn into a 'Life in Review' type. It would cover items like; what I've learned, what I should do different, what if, what is, blah,blah, blah type of post. But hey, this is me, and this isn't how I think (remember the twenty-eight year old living in my mind). I hate to break it to you, but this is NOT the direction I'm going. Sorry for those who may be looking for a bit of advice, I'm saving that for another day.... Instead, I'm turning to a conversation:
My sister started to giggle in that tone. The tone that meant, 'umm you should know by now, your forty for goodness sakes. You have one leg in the grave, and the other one just about ready to fall in'.
She soon followed her giggle with, "You are forty, you know?"
My mind want to scream at her, 'What you mean since I'm forty, I'm suppose to have this already figured out? Well guess what, this forty year old doesn't quite know what she's going to do when she grows up!' However I calmly (I think) said, "Yeah, but I'm only half way through living!"
That's right, I still have at least forty more years of living. A hundred years ago, that was equivalent to two life times! In modern day America, I have the luxury of living two life times. This means that I can make-over, change, re-create, or live another life at least two times. I've spent my first life time (in a brave, lively, ferocious, pleased, and happy manner), and now I have another one to look forward to and figure out what I want to 'do' and 'be'.
I still don't know what I want to do when I grow-up, but here's one thing I can say about my next forty years. I'm going to work better on getting that damn Sheila in my head to shut up. I'm going to ignore her fun deflating tone and get out there and act like I'm 28 (well a bit more sober at least). I'm going to jump in, feet first, not looking back, and grinning all the way.
I do have a list of items I'd like to do before the old man reaper comes, you can review it here.
