A Life In Review??? Yeah - Right.

Today, I turned forty.  Yes, you read that right the big 4-0.

I remember when I was a kid and someone said they were turning forty, I was dumbfounded and couldn't even comprehend living to be that age.  My young mind couldn't even wrap around the concept of living for forty years. I really thought forty year old's had one foot in the grave, napping all the time in their rocking chair with their blanket covering them to keep the chill away, a grumpy attitude towards everything young and awake, creaky bones, swelling ankles, busy planning their funeral, and waiting for old man reaper to come collect their ticket, or something else like that.

Here's the odd thing, I don't feel like what I thought a forty year old should feel (not on most days).  In my head I'm still a rock solid twenty-eight year old (until I look in the mirror and notice a few more wrinkles and other things going south that use to go north)!  Take the mirror away and I'm a twenty-eight year old, with her heels kickin up, screamin let's go, do it again,  jumping in feet first without looking type of attitude.

Yeah, it sounds like I'm in need of changing my views on what age I'd consider old.  I'm thinking 90 is a good old ripe age, it's a hell of a long time to live too (sorry Grandpa, but that really is a looong time).

A typical post of this type would now turn into a 'Life in Review' type.  It would cover items like; what I've learned, what I should do different, what if, what is, blah,blah, blah type of post.  But hey, this is me, and this isn't how I think (remember the twenty-eight year old living in my mind).  I hate to break it to you, but this is NOT the direction I'm going.  Sorry for those who may be looking for a bit of advice, I'm saving that for another day....  Instead, I'm turning to a conversation:

Earlier today I said to my sister (who by the way is only a year younger then me), "I'm still trying to figure out what I want to do when I grow up." 

My sister started to giggle in that tone. The tone that meant, 'umm you should know by now, your forty for goodness sakes.  You have one leg in the grave, and the other one just about ready to fall in'.

She soon followed her giggle with, "You are forty, you know?"  

My mind want to scream at her, 'What you mean since I'm forty, I'm suppose to have this already figured out?  Well guess what, this forty year old doesn't quite know what she's going to do when she grows up!'  However I calmly (I think) said, "Yeah, but I'm only half way through living!" 

That's right, I still have at least forty more years of living.  A hundred years ago, that was equivalent to two life times!  In modern day America, I have the luxury of living two life times.  This means that I can make-over, change, re-create, or live another life at least two times.  I've spent  my first life time (in a brave, lively, ferocious, pleased, and happy manner), and now I have another one to look forward to and figure out what I want to 'do' and 'be'.

I still don't know what I want to do when I grow-up, but here's one thing I can say about my next forty years. I'm going to work better on getting that damn Sheila in my head to shut up.  I'm going to ignore her fun deflating tone and get out there and act like I'm 28 (well a bit more sober at least).  I'm going to jump in, feet first, not looking back, and grinning all the way.  

I do have a list of items I'd like to do before the old man reaper comes, you can review it here.

My 2012 Theme

Yesterday I read a post from Your Kick Ass Life which discussed having a theme for the New Year rather then creating a New Year Resolution.   I was quickly taken back.  Deep down I love goals, yet I swore off New Year's Resolutions many years ago.

I'm one of those goal oriented people (this can be a great asset when you don't have to rely on your will power).  I have a great knack at being able to make goals, break them into bite size pieces, persisting until they are accomplished.  However, I have found that New Years Resolutions usually work for about a week!  After which time, this self defeating cycle starts to happen.  I become too hard on myself; I create even harder, more unrealistic resolution, which again only last for a week as well.  This self defeating cycle continues, until finally the summer arrives and I feel like I can escape the clenching grasps of my failed New Years Resolutions.   After too many failed Resolutions, I decided to break the cycle - I swore off New Year's Resolutions. 

Now an alternate idea is presented to me - a theme for the coming year.  I love it.  It's a way that allows for the universal flow to happen, a way to keep open the needs of my emotional and psychological being while also satisfying my physical mind (who is really good at being keenly aware of potential possibilities (doors) that I may not have been aware of before).

I cleared my mind of all ego satisfying ideas, and allowed my emotional and psychological sides to speak up.  From a far corner of my mind came a clear echoing word.  It reverberated around my mind like a small child who's been ignored and needs my attentions now.  It's.....

****CREATE****

How could I ignore this?  I couldn't.

After the word 'Create' came echoing into my mind, I read a post from a true inspiration, a living legacy, and one who I have the honor of knowing - Amir Jackson creator of Nurture the Creative Mind.  If you don't know him, you should. 

Amir has an amazing talent of creating works of art with words.  Amir wrote, "My theme for 2012. Here is to creating magic, designing possibilities, and building a legacy. The moment it is conceived it is real. The moment it is believed it can be realized."

I'd like to borrow (steal) the last two sentences and add this to my theme: 

Create; because once it's been conceived - it's real. Once it's believed - it's realized.

So, I will Create.



Having Some Kick-Ass Focus

My light bulb of life ideas

So I've been spending my 2 week siesta from work answering some life questions from Life Coach Andrea Owen of Your Kick-Ass Life.  Andrea sends me daily emails to help me discover the answers to my life passion, why I'm not aren't pursuing them, and what I can do to get over my fear and truly have a Kick-Ass Life. 

Part of what I needed to do was to really narrow and focus my life into smaller bite size meaningful bits.  As a general rule,  I'm full of grandiose save-the-world ideas.  How realistic and meaningful are they when they are so grand?  With such grand ideas, the carrying out of them  becomes such a chore, which is not so great at all. 

I've taken some time, narrowed down and focused my passions a bit.  Andrea teaches that if you want it, you also have to write it, picture it, be open to the forces of the universe, and be willing to make choices presented to you that will make people think you're crazy. 

To kick my Kick-Ass life into gear, I have listed my list of Big Ideas (also know as a bucket list - or items that I'd like to do before I die) here. 

If you want to kick start Your Kick-Ass life, you too can sign up for her free "21 Tips and Tools for a Kick-Ass Life: No bullshi*t Included" just like I did.  To sign up click here, and then register on the middle right side of her website.

Here's to having a Kick-Ass Life
Christel