My Baby's Growing Up and I'm Not Coping So Well...

Ireland at the Yankee's game, she lost her first tooth there too.

This past month or so, my daughter and her friend (who loves to clean and de-junk, odd I know) decided to clean out Ireland's play room.  All the stuff that they thought she was 'too old' for, was quickly removed.  Bags and bags of stuff kept coming up from downstairs with the words 'donate' written across them.  I had no idea there was that much stuff down there!

The bags were piled high in the garage, so high in fact that we officially lost the north wall!  We decided to keep the bags there for a few days so we could go through them and double check that she wasn't getting rid of things she shouldn't be, and to give her a chance to re-claim anything she has second thoughts about.

A few weeks go by, before we decide to go through the bags.  We open the first bag, filled to the brim with stuffed animals!  Kyle starts pulling out the animals, he notices one in particular and holds it out.  It was one of her first Build a Bear animals - yeah, you know the kind; the hundred dollar, pull at your wallet strings stuffed animal.  He holds it up high for our daughter to see, and asks 'Are you sure?'



She nonchalantly says, 'Yeah,' as she continues to ride her scooter around and round the driveway.

He then holds up another stuffed animal, I think it was her baby pterodactyl.   We bought this because it reminded us of her scream when she was a baby.  Boy could that girl scream!  Now imagine if you will the type of scream that pierces right through your skull, scrambling your brains along it's path, and then bursting right out the other side of your skull - yep it was that type of scream!  His hand still in the air, with the pterodactyl legs dangling down his wrists and it's wings flapping atop his hand and asks, 'Are you sure?"

Ireland says to us as she scooters along, 'Yeah, I'm good to let it go'

Ireland dressing up as a cowgirl

I start to go through her pile of books, double checking to make sure she wasn't trying to rid the ones that she doesn't think she wants to read (you know the kind with the 'boring cover').  I pick a book up, one that Ireland and I read many, many times, The Poky Little Puppy.   I hold the book up and barely get the word, 'Do' out of my mouth when I hear Ireland say in that tween moody voice, 'Um yeah, mom that one goes!'

What I wanted to say was, 'Do you remember when I use to read this book to you?'  Who knows if she does, but I do.  It was such a fun book to read, we read it at least once a week.

A minute later, I grab a bag so heavy that I couldn't even lift it.  How on earth this little 70 pound girl of mine carry this bag upstairs?  Again, another bag full of books - who knew they could get so heavy!

I start going through the bag of books - books that we read together, ones she begged for, even more that ignited that desire to read, where words came to life, jump off the pages, and into your imagination.   There were books like; 'The Magic Tree House', 'All About Dogs', 'Dog Detective Series', and many more.

Kyle and I looked over the pile of books.  He asks me, 'Where did she get these?'

I respond somewhat reminiscently "Why we bought most of them for her."

"What a waste to have bought so many books that she only read once." Kyle commented as he continues going through the bag in his hands.

Ireland pretending to work where her dad use to -
we had to tell her that those plugs were for her ears, not
her nostrils!

I look at this pile of books and realize we need to get a library card, that's what we need to do.  My logical brain, starts going into fits and screams,  Library, have you heard of the library?

Oh wait, I got off track - sorry.

I go back to the task at hand, open another bag - again filled with stuffed animals!  I start picking each of them up, one by one.  With each animal, I'm taken back to the day she received it, her excitement upon receiving it, her genuine love for the animal.   My eyes wanting to fill with tears, but some little nagging tween on her scooter started chanting, 'Let it go, Let it go, I'm ready to let it go.'  

Damn that tween on her scooter!

I ignore the scootering tween, and pick up the next stuffed animal - a little purple kitty cat.  Kitty would go with us on all our shopping trips, to school, even family functions.  I hold kitty up and ask the dreaded, 'Are you sure?  Don't you remember her?'

Tween Ireland stops the scooter, walks over, holds kitty close to her heart, and says, 'Yeah, I do.'  Then scooters off, with kitty in hand.

Ireland on a hike -
This girl is going places!

She's back! My baby girl is back, and she remembers -  if only for a minute.

Looking around the garage, my daughter's childhood lays in piles.  Her innocence is starting to disappear, her belief in magic is soon coming to an end, her need and want for mom and dad quickly diminishing.  She's being replaced by someone - someone that looks like, laughs, and talks like her.  She's growing up, spreading her wings, pushing her boundless energy, and jumping towards the stars. 

As her mom, I'm  not coping too well.


P.S. We took all these items to our local thrift store, and donated the books to a couple of new schools, Venture and Promontory.